A Draft of a Declaration

A shell of a ship sits in a shop
Gutted
No sails taking wind,
No prow cutting surf,
The planks recall yells of yesterday's port
Whispers now

A jewel setting gathers dust on the desk
Empty
No sparkle glimmering facets,
No clasp holding treasure,
The gold reflects yesterday's light
Gone now

Lord, I came to know you in second grade. You gave me joy--even then. Even that young, I felt you change my hear as clearly as I would a warm squeeze.

That joy developed and got deeper as the years passed. People used to remark about how often I smiled. They thought it had something to do with me.

I started to believe it did, too.

They say a fade happens slowly, and it's true. Something about my response to my traffic ticket the other day made me look hard at my hardenend heart.

Any joy I've ever had . . .
Any smile on my face . . .
Any inspiration I've felt . . .
love shared
beauty observed

Has been only and utterly because of Christ.
How could I ever think I had anything to do with that?

So, tonight I've had this glimpse of my angry, prideful, bitter self.

That is who I am.

The whole gift of Christ, though, is that He has given me more. He replaced that bitter girl with an inspired joyful woman ... just over twenty years ago.

I want that back. I want a life surrendered to God. I want the purity of a child biking around the neighborhood ... wondering what God will do next.

Lord, thank you for my ticket. Keep killing my pride and calling me back to you -- whatever it takes.

I want to glorify you -- whatever it takes.

Love.

Aubrey